Evening all!
I read Healthy tipping point probably a little too much, so when I saw the chance to have my blog advertised, I jumped at the chance!
Operation Beautiful is a great thing and I hope it helps a lot of people find out how beautiful they really are. And, I really hope it helps me learn to love myself a little bit more too. Here’s a little background about my body issues:
I’ve always been sporty, but in high school I noticed that I was gaining a little weight; so I decided to go on a diet. I read up on all the nutrition websites, surfed the internet for days looking for the calorie counts on foods, and religiously counted calories; some days going as low as 1,200 calories a day. Through all this I would workout for 3+ hours a day. I lost weight quickly. I also lost a lot of muscle. My teachers began to notice this change and got really worried. I had the counselers calling my mom, and people calling me into their offices to “chat.” I went to a small school, and was well known, so when I began to lose weight; people noticed. But, I felt incredible. I was wearing size 2, couldn’t pinch an ounce of fat, and loved the way the shoulder bones poked out. I had a problem. A couple months later, I decided to stop counting calories and work on eating when I was hungry. It worked for a little while, but some weight came back on: and I freaked. This went on for a while. About my senior year I finally fell into my happy weight: 130. I felt good and could eat some chocolate every now and then without feeling guilty; I thought life was going good. Fast forward to college. I was so paranoid that I would gain the dreaded 15 that I stuck to a vegetarian diet, worked out everyday (and I don’t drink) so I thought I was fine. I started to train for the local marathon and that is when things went downhill. I was so hungry I got the “train gain.” Now I am setting at 145. I am not happy, and know I can be the lovely 130 again. I run a lot, and eat a vegetarian diet with very little fat. But, I have a problem of not listening to my body cues and seem to eat a LOT of fruit. I know I can be 130 again; as I was for two lovely years. I need to find my body confidence again and truly be happy. Even though weight is a number that does not define what my body can do for me; it is something I feel the need to control.
I need help from the blog community. Operation Beautiful has helped so many people, I need it to help me so I can push past this mind set I have fallen into.
We all need to love our bodies, and look past the scale; and I can’t help anyone until I myself am helped.
I love your honesty here! I know I have struggled with my body, binging and so many things before. I think what helped me was letting go of the rules and the all or nothing attitude. You’re a beautiful person!
I’ve had a similar struggle in the past four years. In the summer of 2005 I lost 20 pounds via Weight Watchers and after college put it all back on (and then some). I’ve come to realize that I may not be that thin again without really restricting myself and maybe my “happy weight” is a little higher than I thought. Whenever you feel frustrated with the number on the scale think about what you’ve accomplished that day! You’re an amazing runner! Own it and celebrate it!
you guys are awesome. thank you