Rock bottom

11 09 2010

Well. I’m kind of lost about what to do. See, here’s a secrect that I’ve kept for too long: I don’t have any close girlfriends: and it’s tearing me apart inside.

Its been this way since high school. Sure, I have friends who I go to movies with occasionaly, or maybe even spring break. But, do they write on my facebook wall: “I miss you” or think about me when they are planning their weekends? Hell no, and I”m sick of it.

Tonight, on a Saturday where there was millions of people with their friends, I went on a bike ride: alone. I wanted to bike until I couldn’t go no longer, but of course God had other plans. My gears weren’t working right and my bike clip for my pedal broke. Leaving me 10 miles from home, without  my cell phone, and with no one to turn to. I made it back; but I did it all on my own.

I know lately my posts have been kind of depressing. I”m really trying to be positive. I have a roof over my head, I have a job, my dad is paying my tuition, I have a boyfriend who loves me. But, is it enough? Am I happy? No, is the answer. I feel alone in the world, and its killing me. Am I that repulsive that I haven’t made any new friends in a D-1 college? What’s wrong with me?? Yes, I’m a vegetarian, yes I love to race, and yes, I don’t drink. Does that make me so different than a “college” kid that the only friends I can get are me, myself, and I?

I see the bloggers with ALL of their blogger meetups, and training buddies. I am jealous, so jealous to say the least. Is it Nebraska? Is it my age? I don’t know what it is; but right now I just don’t  have any answers.

Do you?

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3 responses

12 09 2010
Alexis

Do you want to do a long-run on Sunday of next week? I’m slow on my long-runs (11:30-12:00 pace) but we could either run together or run at our own pace but hit the trail together. I usually like to run long on the Mopac or Holmes Lake. Let me know via email or on twitter (@lexi_bites). Hope you have a great week!

13 09 2010
Karina

i just came across your blog and wanted to tell you youre not alone….im in college too and feel like basically just cause i dont drink and like to wake up early means i have no friends…..let me know if you get a solution

13 09 2010
absgirl

What college do you go to?? I haven’t found a solution yet. Hopefully working on it…maybe?

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